i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
