He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
