PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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