dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize