I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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