my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Still dying that you shit outside
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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