mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
