So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The feeling are messing with the penis
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
