Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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