just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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