just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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