I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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