from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
