It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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