the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
