i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
