just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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