Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
that may or may not have been my penis.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
