She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
