"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
