I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
