I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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