I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
