I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
