While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
