i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
