PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
