I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
