i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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