We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
