Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
