Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
