I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
where are you?
Hypothermia
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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