This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
