Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
