dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
