He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
