We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
