the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
