oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize