do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
