ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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