while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
