Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
