So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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