Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
