Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
