I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
