Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
