Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Randomize
