there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize