I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
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