You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize