thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
