Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
