I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
