come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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