carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
