guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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