im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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