the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize