Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
