I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
