yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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