I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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