ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
