based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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