Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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