My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
