so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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