Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
